Author: qjoq.com

I thought my dog was by far the best when it came to playing dead.. Then he started to smell really bad.

A policeman knocked on my door last night. He said, “A man was badly beaten up in the pub last night, he has a fractured cheekbone, a broken nose and 2 black eyes.” “Really?” I asked. He said, “Yes, we think it was you.” I said, “Well it wasn’t me, look at my face.”

This woman came really close to me at work today and whispered in my ear: “Call me, Dave… I’ll be waiting.” “Ok Dave” I said, “but what are you waiting for?”