“Oh my god! Somebody help …
“Oh my god! Somebody help! I’ve turned into a giant!” “No Dave. It’s 5-a-side. Now get back in goal”.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was bored on a long fli …
I was bored on a long flight earlier, so I decided to kill some time by getting really drunk. My co-pilot went mental.
Continue ReadingAnimals may be our friend …
Animals may be our friends but they wont pick you up at the airport.
Continue ReadingMy friend was off on holi …
My friend was off on holiday for a week so I bid him farewell:- “See you later mate, don’t do anything I’d do!” “Don’t you mean ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?’” “Um, well unless you’d do your mum and your ten year old sister then, no.” I don’t think I’ll be seeing much of […]
Continue ReadingWhy don’t girls take me s …
Why don’t girls take me seriously? Looks like I have a spare ticket to the gun show.
Continue ReadingA man came up to me in th …
A man came up to me in the pub and said, “On your marks, get set … go” I said, “Are you starting?”
Continue ReadingThe day of the royal wedd …
The day of the royal wedding… millions of people watching this touching and beautiful event live on the internet… it was amazing how clear the streaming video of the gorgeous, happy couple was on my computer screen. Thank you Sasha Grey, Jenna Haze and of course WebcamLesbians.com.
Continue ReadingI had a date with a lazy …
I had a date with a lazy mathematician. It didn’t work out.
Continue ReadingI decided to get my nephe …
I decided to get my nephew a puppy for his birthday. As a surprise I decided to put it in a box, wrap it & put a bow on top to disguise the actual gift. Top tip: make sure the dog isn’t inside when putting air holes in the box with a screw driver. My […]
Continue ReadingI don’t see why Pamela An …
I don’t see why Pamela Anderson is a member of PETA, she’s been torturing her beaver for years.
Continue ReadingI started seeing this gir …
I started seeing this girl from work.Doctors say it’s a very rare occurrence for a blind man.
Continue Reading“Chile police seek ‘fire …
“Chile police seek ‘fire starters” Well if I was a cold officer I would want a fire going too.
Continue ReadingThat brain-teaser hotline …
That brain-teaser hotline is an absolute con. I phoned it the other day, but there was no answer.
Continue ReadingUniversal truth: Prodding …
Universal truth: Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
Continue Reading“Secret Services should b …
“Secret Services should be less secret” says some government bod. We’re hardly going to scare terrorists off with “Slightly Vague Services” though.
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