Tip of the day: Never hig …
Tip of the day: Never high-five a muppet whilst wearing a velcro glove.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Why aren’t I allowed to b …
Why aren’t I allowed to be around epileptic kids? Because I’m a flasher
Continue ReadingI’ve got a lovely recipe …
I’ve got a lovely recipe for a fish stew made with pollock and dog fish. It’s the dog’s pollocks.
Continue ReadingGouging It’s all fun and …
Gouging It’s all fun and games until someone doesn’t lose an eye.
Continue ReadingJust been on the Walls Sa …
Just been on the Walls Sausage’s web-site……..loads of links.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a kitchen sink f …
I’ve got a kitchen sink for sale, 50. Would suit anyone who has everything.
Continue Reading“I don’t care if you are …
“I don’t care if you are an usher at the cinema. You can’t just tear up every ticket you’re given”. Said the policeman.
Continue ReadingI was going to post a jok …
I was going to post a joke but I ran out of stamps.
Continue ReadingThe missus was having a r …
The missus was having a really bad attack of wind this morning. First it was like cabbage, then peas, then sprouts! Honestly, I’ve never smelt anything Grocer!
Continue ReadingIt’s great to see people …
It’s great to see people of all faiths getting behind the royal wedding. I just overheard a group of young Muslim men walking towards Westminster Abbey saying how they can’t wait for the signal so they can really toast the happy couple.
Continue ReadingWhy are men so much bette …
Why are men so much better at reading maps ? Coz only in a mans mind can 1 inch = 100 miles
Continue ReadingI’m doing a sponsored ‘Pr …
I’m doing a sponsored ‘Procrastination Marathon’. Give me 1 a day each and I’ll think about giving it to charity.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between Katie Price and the Twin Towers? Katie Price went down faster with more people inside her.
Continue ReadingMy job, working at Jessop …
My job, working at Jessops, is still developing.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between a baby and a catholic priest? one sucks its fingers…
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