I’m sad that videos have …
I’m sad that videos have been replaced, I used to love saying to people, just before going out, “I’m just gonna use my head cleaner”.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’m a hipocritic. Perhaps …
I’m a hipocritic. Perhaps if they spent less time bathing in mud they’d lose more weight and get further in life…
Continue ReadingThe doctor said my wife m …
The doctor said my wife must lose some weight before going flying again. Well either that, or get a bigger cape.
Continue ReadingI escaped from several ne …
I escaped from several near death experiences today. I declined a lift from my wife and got a taxi.
Continue ReadingI was getting ready to go …
I was getting ready to go as a water feature to a fancy dress party. I wasn’t sure so asked my mate what he thought. He put a lilly pad on my head. That made me ponder.
Continue ReadingThe average ghost is mean …
The average ghost is mean spirited.
Continue ReadingHow did the hipster burn …
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He started eating the pizza long before it was cool.
Continue ReadingI went for a job intervie …
I went for a job interview today and thought I’d stand out from the crowd by taking in some homemade cakes for the interviewers. They seemed to really enjoy them as they were tucking in during my interview. I thought it was going really well but there’s always one or two tricky questions. “So, why […]
Continue ReadingAn Englishman, an Irishma …
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman decide not to go into a pub – hey, I’m not joking!
Continue ReadingI just heard that Aston V …
I just heard that Aston Villa beat Hull City 2-. Which was a bit of a result.
Continue ReadingIs it just a coincidence …
Is it just a coincidence that Barney is a grown man in a costume, his best friend is called BJ and he hangs out with children all day?
Continue ReadingMe and my partner were ac …
Me and my partner were accused of plagiarising 50 Cent. He took the rap
Continue ReadingI can sympathise with tho …
I can sympathise with those upset by the death of Pavarotti. I felt the same when I lost a tenner.
Continue ReadingBING – Because It’s Not G …
BING – Because It’s Not Google.
Continue ReadingI bought a German Shephar …
I bought a German Shephard the other day to protect my home from burglars… He isn’t very good though, I got burgled last night while he was flocking the sheep.
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