I love grandfather clocks …
I love grandfather clocks big time.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My wife left me yesterday …
My wife left me yesterday due to my schizophrenia. I suppose I’ve only myself to blame.
Continue ReadingChav Bingo.. You’ve gotta …
Chav Bingo.. You’ve gotta be init to win it.
Continue ReadingI’m positive I’ve lost an …
I’m positive I’ve lost an electron; I better keep an ion that.
Continue ReadingWhat goes in hard and com …
What goes in hard and comes out soft? Bubble gum.
Continue ReadingWomen! You give them an i …
Women! You give them an inch, they run off and have an affair.
Continue ReadingI love working in the abo …
I love working in the abortion clinic. I’ve not had to go out and buy food for 6 months now.
Continue ReadingPeople who have a problem …
People who have a problem with tall people need to grow up
Continue ReadingAthletes run in my family …
Athletes run in my family..
Continue ReadingTwo cannibals come across …
Two cannibals come across a missionary in the jungle. After killing the man, they decide to split the body evenly. “Look,” said one cannibal. “I’ll start at the head, and you start at the feet, and we’ll meet in the middle.” So the two begin to devour the man’s body. After a short while, the […]
Continue ReadingI really should write dow …
I really should write down all the things I have to do. Can’t be bothered to find a pen and paper. I feel so listless.
Continue ReadingI was walking to my car i …
I was walking to my car in the Red Light District earlier today. A woman was lent against my car. “Hand-job?” she asked. “No,” I replied, “it’s fully automatic.”
Continue ReadingThe word “salary” comes f …
The word “salary” comes from the latin word for salt as salt was often used to pay workers. That explains why I have to drink so much when I get mine.
Continue ReadingFollowing the trend set b …
Following the trend set by Steve Jobs, I’ve decided to start a fruit and veg company called “Laptop.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just won five games …
I’ve just won five games of poker in a row whilst standing on a piece of bread. Think I’m on a roll.
Continue Reading