Just got back from my mat …
Just got back from my mates ‘Mars’ themed fancy dress party. Lacked Atmosphere.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
A foreign woman taking a …
A foreign woman taking a food survey asks a man ‘Are you peckish?’ the man replies ‘No I’m Turkish’
Continue ReadingI can remember getting st …
I can remember getting stoned at school… The teachers where a lot more brutal in my day.
Continue ReadingI just checked my balance …
I just checked my balance on my mobile phone. Don’t do it, mine broke straight away.
Continue ReadingAs a kid I wanted to be a …
As a kid I wanted to be a gingerbread man. But as I grew older I realised I wasn’t cut out for it.
Continue ReadingPersonally, I find there’ …
Personally, I find there’s nothing better than slipping into a hot tub – but not everyone finds big women as attractive as I do.
Continue ReadingI always wanted to be an …
I always wanted to be an ointment, but I never applied myself.
Continue ReadingI asked Paris Hilton, “Do …
I asked Paris Hilton, “Do you have many faults?” “I have lots!” she replied giggling, “That’s where I keep all my money and jewelry.”
Continue ReadingTheSun: “Lotto winners Ch …
TheSun: “Lotto winners Chris and Colin are UK’s 430th wealthiest.” I’d say they were struggling to match that rank for the UK’s healthiest though.
Continue ReadingI made an example of myse …
I made an example of myself at the deed poll office today. I changed my name to Eg.
Continue ReadingWhen I was in Thailand, I …
When I was in Thailand, I saw a place where you could eat the brain of a freshly killed monkey for 200 Baht. I’ve never been so appalled in my life. Thats nearly four quid.
Continue ReadingI’ve lost so many bits of …
I’ve lost so many bits of Scalextric. I just can’t keep track.
Continue ReadingManslaughter: The sound h …
Manslaughter: The sound heard while watching women park their cars.
Continue ReadingHow can you tell the Iris …
How can you tell the Irishman aboard an aircraft carrier? He’s the one throwing bread to the helicopters.
Continue ReadingWe were forced to call of …
We were forced to call off the Annual Beer Festival last night after all the rain. It was just dampening our spirits.
Continue Reading