qjoq.com – Page 544

I love selling stuff on t …

I love selling stuff on the internet to people who don’t know you. I’ve already sold the same homing pigeon 24 times on eBay.

I’ve just seen my swimmin …

September 20qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I’ve just seen my swimming instructors having a fight over buoyancy aids. They’ve been at each others floats for months now.

While my girlfriend agrees that simultaneously losing her virginity and joining the mile high club would be a memorable experience, we just can’t settle on the finer details. I want to do it on the next flight we take, but she wants to hire a private helicopter. Her best mate says hang-gliding would be a […]

I saw my ex the other day …

September 20January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I saw my ex the other day. Turns out she is married with a baby. What idiot marries a baby?

I lost my new phone last …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I lost my new phone last night after a heavy drinking session,its so hard to find as it is the world’s smallest model,all im left with is a pounding headache and this constant ringing in my ears.

“When God closes a door, …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

“When God closes a door, he opens a window.” Clearly, God doesn’t plan on holidaying in Portugal.

I don’t know why people h …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I don’t know why people hate Mondays so much. I’m on the dole and I don’t mind them.

I don’t know what is the …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I don’t know what is the hardest part of a job interview. Memorising the job description or memorising all the lies you wrote about yourself in the application form.

I just flew into Liverpoo …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I just flew into Liverpool and I don’t know who robbed me more; Ryanair or the Scousers on the plane.

I felt like a fool when I …

September 19qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I felt like a fool when I bought Amy Winehouse tickets for my daughter and then remembered that she died last year. Even more so when I remembered that Amy Winehouse died too.