Final Fantasy XIII. Not f …
Final Fantasy XIII. Not final really then is it.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I just changed history Oh …
I just changed history Oh I do love wikipedia
Continue ReadingWhen reading a book, alwa …
When reading a book, always underline the bits you don’t understand. That way, if you ever lend it to someone, they’ll think you’re really clever.
Continue ReadingPre-Meditated murder: Its …
Pre-Meditated murder: Its the thought that counts.
Continue ReadingI used to be in a band ca …
I used to be in a band called the Elastic bands, but it didn’t work out. We thought we were bigger than we were and ended up splitting.
Continue ReadingJust as the train was pul …
Just as the train was pulling into London, I pulled the emergency brake and announced that I had a bomb. After the court costs and the hefty fine, it still worked out cheaper than buying a ticket.
Continue ReadingKate and Gerry are bringi …
Kate and Gerry are bringing out a new book on how to raise your kids, It’s got lots of tips on how to control their behaviour. Top Tip no 1! Sacrifice one child so that the others behave. Top Tip no 2! Remind them if they tell anyone the next holidays booked.
Continue ReadingI went into the barbers a …
I went into the barbers and he said ‘What can I do for you?’ ‘Cut the sides and back off’ I replied. ‘Alright, no need to be rude about it!’
Continue ReadingAll my mates told me I ne …
All my mates told me I needed a new battery in my watch. I’m sure it was a wind up.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend keeps ruini …
My girlfriend keeps ruining all our newpapers and magazines to get coupons and money off vouchers. I keep telling her to cut it out.
Continue ReadingDoes Africa have a Lynx ‘ …
Does Africa have a Lynx ‘England’ that smells of cigarettes and disappointment?
Continue ReadingAs I lay there in the roa …
As I lay there in the road with bits of my body spread all around me, I offered up a silent prayer for death to take me and for the agonizing pain to stop. I couldn’t believe it when I heard a reply; “Welcome to Heaven” Blissfully, I said, “I’m ready to be taken now. […]
Continue ReadingI don’t know what I’d lik …
I don’t know what I’d like to be more… a music teacher or a 15 Year old girl.
Continue ReadingIf you wanna tell all of …
If you wanna tell all of your friends, family and colleagues that you’re socially inept, attention seeking, and a mindless zombie slave to the commercials and hype of one of the seemingly most popular corporations on the planet…. ..There’s an app for that.
Continue ReadingMy mate from work just a …
My mate from work just asked me if I had BBM. It took me a while to figure out what he meant but he looked ecstatic went I brought Brokeback Mountain in to work the next day.
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