My mate was playing darts …
My mate was playing darts he said, “go on mate name a number.” “Ok, so 7 can be called greg, and 12 can be a susan.” “Now you name a few” I replied.
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Why did they start lettin …
Why did they start letting women in the army? To cook the grenades
Continue ReadingI saw a farmer in a field …
I saw a farmer in a field playing a board game on a pig. I asked him “what game are you playing?” “Backgammon” he replied.
Continue ReadingLike Madonna I’m trying t …
Like Madonna I’m trying to adopt a spaz and an African kid. One Down, one Togo.
Continue Reading‘Are your relatives in bu …
‘Are your relatives in business?’ ‘Yes – in the iron and steel business’ ‘Oh, indeed?’ ‘Yes – me mother irons and me father steals’
Continue ReadingNails are one thing you d …
Nails are one thing you don’t want to screw with.
Continue ReadingI heard that 1 in every 5 …
I heard that 1 in every 5 mates is into paedofillia I think it’s probably Dave, he has the fittest kids
Continue ReadingJust seen an advert on yo …
Just seen an advert on youtube, “Find a single Muslim.com” I’m not sure though, online relationships like that can blow up in your face
Continue ReadingApparently going to a fan …
Apparently going to a fancy dress party dressed as a cactus is not a legitimate reason for spiking people’s drinks.
Continue ReadingWhen my workmate never sh …
When my workmate never showed, the boss asked “Can you do the work of two men?”…. “Of course I can,” I said “but it will take me twice as long.”
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a shooting …
I’ve just seen a shooting star. Ron Jeremy.
Continue ReadingI have the most depressin …
I have the most depressing job in the world. Writing the horoscopes in the Big Issue
Continue Readingso, Facebook has a new fe …
so, Facebook has a new feature that recognises users faces in photos. It seems Facebook doesn’t like Chinese or women in Burka’s either.
Continue ReadingDespite the stereotype, I …
Despite the stereotype, I know many black men who are on the payroll.. ..sorry.. ..it’s spelt ‘parole’
Continue ReadingI love turning on fans. I …
I love turning on fans. It gives me vent elation.
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