There’s a word for people who like to post endless jokes online, hoping they can come up with the best joke of the day and never venture outside of their room. It starts with a ‘V’ and rhymes with ‘Merging.’ On a different note, I am currently single and looking, no experience required
Continue ReadingMy wife was going away for the weekend, and as she left she kissed me on the cheek and said: “Be Good”. As she closed the door, I chuckled under my breath; “While the cats away, the mice can play.” I spent all weekend playing with my pet mice. It was lovely.
Continue ReadingMy mate promised me a great time if I went with him to the pleasure beach. I thought “Fair play”
Continue ReadingI quit my job at the Hairdressers. There were just too many big wigs in the office.
Continue ReadingIt’s times like these, when I’m sat in bed with my computer on my knee, that I really wish I’d bought a laptop.
Continue ReadingA bloke in the pub said a shoal of fish came out of the Atlantic and hit his wife. Sounds like codswallop to me.
Continue ReadingOur housing estate has a small, resident ghost that helps out during hard times. It’s nice to have a little community spirit.
Continue ReadingIt was pitch black, and some guy offered me either tequilla or sambuca. Not sure what it was. Shot in the dark really.
Continue ReadingI saw this guy wearing a T-shirt which read “50 today!” “He’s showing his age” I thought
Continue ReadingWhat’s the best way to kill a man…? Add a ‘w’ and an ‘o’.
Continue ReadingI’ve just moved into my new flat and directly below me is a police station. It would appear that I’m above the law.
Continue ReadingDogs are for life not just for Christmas..? Someone should have told Peter Andre
Continue ReadingI took the wife to the Doctors with an ingrowing toenail. “The best practice is to remove it.” he said. “Do you have any questons?” “Yes,” I said, “you know she’s got an ingrowing tongue?”
Continue ReadingWhenever I put my hand down my trousers, it always feels like I’ve lost my little friend. Actually, come to think of it, you can’t really blame Dave for wanting to eat his lunch elsewhere.
Continue ReadingMy Batchelors lifestyle is getting boring. Cup-a-Soup is all I know how to make.
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