The police raided my local pub and arrested one of my mates. They’d found some gun cartridges at the scene of a shooting and traced them to him. They arrested him and dragged him off to the police station. He was proper gutted. It was my round.
Continue ReadingI just got the new ginger version of Facebook today. It’s exactly the same but it removes all the friends options.
Continue ReadingHindsight is a wonderful thing, unless you’re the back end of a pantomime horse.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a terrible headache. I think I’ll have to stop drinking… ..and crashing my car into trees.
Continue ReadingMy dad is a former postman living in Germany He’s something of an ex Pat
Continue ReadingMy job is driving a van containing a well known newspaper. I’m always moving with The Times.
Continue ReadingOne day little Johnny goes up to his mother and says, “Is it true babies come from storks?” “Why yes,” says the mom. “Do storks ever have abortions?” he asks. Johnny’s mother stops and laughs and then says, “Yes, but only the poor black ones.”
Continue ReadingI’m going to make some changes in my marriage. I’m starting with the locks.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me if I knew which race committed the most crime. I took a stab in the dark and said blacks.
Continue ReadingSince I started working from home … I have never missed a day
Continue ReadingAlthough the export of vegetables has currently been banned due to the risk of E.Coli, people living near Germany should still be wary of Border.Coli.
Continue ReadingCongratulations to Li Na on being the first Asian to win a Grand Slam in Tennis. Or Lithium Sodium, as she’s known to geeks everywhere.
Continue ReadingToyota Auris Hybrid, it delivers smooth performance as well as ultra quiet electric driving. So the children cant hear you coming
Continue ReadingI’ve decided I want to donate all my organs… I’ve always prefered pianos to be honest
Continue ReadingIf you would like to help with the restoration of our local jeweller’s shop, please give us a ring.
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