Author: qjoq.com

My mate just told me he’s moving to Bel Air… What a Bel Air’nd.

Marie: ‘What does your husband do for a living?’ Joanne: ‘He’s a joiner’ Marie: ‘Oh yes? What does he do?’ Joanne: ‘Whenever he sees someone going in the pub he joins them’

I brought my dog to the vet for a cat scan today. They found three in him.

Sherlock Holmes turned to Dr Watson and announced: “The murderer lives in the house with the yellow door.” “Good grief, Holmes,” said Watson, “How on earth did you deduce that?” “It’s a lemon entry, my dear Watson.”

I crashed my one-man plane into the middle of the ocean and wondered how I would make it back to dry land. However, once I found the blanket in the back and the wind picked up it was plane sailing from there.

I went into the butchers the other day and asked for a big fat Christmas bird, “Turkey” he asked, I replied “I don’t care where she’s from as long she can handle a spit roast”

Fifteen shop stewards were killed in a bus crash the other day. They cried in Unison.