My dads in a coma. He’s l …
My dads in a coma. He’s living the dream.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My amnesiac friend keeps …
My amnesiac friend keeps knocking on her own front door and then going in round the back to answer her own knocks. I don’t think she realises what she’s letting herself in for.
Continue ReadingEveryone in my neighbourh …
Everyone in my neighbourhood wears woolen jumpers that are a size too small, we’re a very tight knit community.
Continue ReadingWhy do people buy Apple M …
Why do people buy Apple Macs? They keep on breaking Windows.
Continue ReadingI’ve just read a book on …
I’ve just read a book on the best use for a skip. It was rubbish.
Continue ReadingMy mate called in for a b …
My mate called in for a beer earlier .We talked about going to the gym.I said physical fitness is a little weakness of mine.My wife popped her head around the door ,and said don’t forget to tell your mate about your other little weakness!
Continue ReadingI complained to my wife a …
I complained to my wife about the state of our sofa this morning. She said, “Do you wanna throw for it?” I said, “Yeah, go on then, heads.”
Continue ReadingPolice officers needed fo …
Police officers needed for G20 march duties. Interviews are being held tomorrow. Come early…beat the crowd.
Continue ReadingRobbery at steel factory. …
Robbery at steel factory. That’s irony.
Continue ReadingKorea – The only place yo …
Korea – The only place you can do a chicken doggy style
Continue ReadingI work for the LAPD in th …
I work for the LAPD in the SWAT team…. Proud to say they’ve been fly free since 1993.
Continue ReadingWhats the difference betw …
Whats the difference between me and a 40 year old virgin ? Im not 40 yet …
Continue ReadingMy son drank a bottle of …
My son drank a bottle of bleach earlier. On the plus side, at least now I will have a nice clean toilet.
Continue ReadingI just had a missed call …
I just had a missed call from Chris Tarrant. He left a message that said, “For a million pounds, what famous Stephen King book featured a clown?” I should have answered It.
Continue ReadingGillan and Adrian Bayford …
Gillan and Adrian Bayford are the second biggest lottery winners ever. Wow! I didn’t think they came bigger than those two.
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