An atheist is a man with …
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
What lies on the ground 1 …
What lies on the ground 100ft in the air? A dead Centipede.
Continue ReadingThe Police warned me they …
The Police warned me they’d pin the crime on me if I didn’t pick an African American from the line up. Black male, I thought.
Continue ReadingI went to an 80’s retro d …
I went to an 80’s retro disco with my friend last night and he said, “This is great, I’m having a ball.” I replied, “Well if you’re having that then I’m having the DJ decks and his 7 inch vinyl collection.”
Continue ReadingI’m sick of ATMs these da …
I’m sick of ATMs these days. They just don’t make cents.
Continue ReadingThere is nothing like get …
There is nothing like getting to the end of a good book and thinking, AH! Theres Wally!
Continue ReadingI’ve been going out with …
I’ve been going out with my native American girlfriend for a while now. So last night I decided to go down on bended knee.
Continue ReadingI order the club sandwich …
I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member. I don’t know how I get away with it.
Continue ReadingI went to the beach to ch …
I went to the beach to check for signs of a tsunami but the coast was clear.
Continue ReadingI told my mate my girlfri …
I told my mate my girlfriend hit me the other day because I can’t stop doing cat impressions. “Your joking!” he replied laughing. “What did you say to her?” “Me? Ow!”
Continue ReadingI put on a DVD tonight an …
I put on a DVD tonight and up popped that piracy advert, “You wouldn’t steal a car, would you?” At that point I turned off the mini LCD screen on the dashboard and got on with hot wiring it.
Continue ReadingJust visited The Flying E …
Just visited The Flying Egg Cafe at Heathrow. What I want to know is … which came first, the check-in or The Egg?
Continue Readingnew car, 32-inch televisi …
new car, 32-inch television, Iphone and Ipad – will make great presents for Christmas next year. cheers Susanna Reid
Continue ReadingI was on my lunch yesterd …
I was on my lunch yesterday when I suddenly thought, I have just squashed my sandwiches.
Continue ReadingI paid 2 for a filthy, ol …
I paid 2 for a filthy, old hoe yesterday. What a bargain! The second hand garden centre really outdid itself.
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