I panicked playing poker …
I panicked playing poker last night when I had a full house. I was going to have nowhere near enough chairs.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
If everyone is unique, do …
If everyone is unique, don’t we all have something in common?
Continue ReadingMy friends have told me t …
My friends have told me that they’ll stop talking to me unless I stop telling the “Carlsberg don’t do…” jokes from sickipedia. I guess you know who your mates are.
Continue ReadingStephen Fry has opened a …
Stephen Fry has opened a grocery store. He called it ‘Melon Cauli’
Continue ReadingMy mate came over to my h …
My mate came over to my house and complained how nerdy I was. I spat my tea out in shock. Luckily, I’d fitted polythene covers on the sofa earlier in the day.
Continue ReadingGoogle Plus recently anno …
Google Plus recently announced a new service called Google games. In a press statement they announced 3 other new products called Square, Triangle and R2.
Continue ReadingI have just been offered …
I have just been offered a job as a clown. My boss told me the other guy was good. Seems to me I’ll have some big shoes to fill.
Continue ReadingI got stopped due to spee …
I got stopped due to speeding. Thanks to the tree.
Continue ReadingWhen I first met my wife …
When I first met my wife it wasn’t exactly love at first sight… Neither of us had a webcam.
Continue ReadingQ; What’s worse than havi …
Q; What’s worse than having toothache? A: Gary glitter giving you a filling
Continue ReadingWhen cracking one off wit …
When cracking one off with a pair of knickers on your head, don’t look in the mirror, because you look like a giant fly.
Continue ReadingI’ve started selling turb …
I’ve started selling turbans dipped in orange jelly and chocolate. I reckon Jaffar Cakes will be a hit.
Continue ReadingThe problem with a fifty …
The problem with a fifty pound note is that it is too heavy to carry around.
Continue ReadingI was filling up with pet …
I was filling up with petrol the other day when a fellow motorist took the pump out of my mouth and put it in my car.
Continue ReadingThis morning I survived a …
This morning I survived a frenzied dog attack in just my underpants. What a dog was doing wearing my pants, is anyone’s guess.
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