Just saw a midget walking …
Just saw a midget walking past an open gate and jumping the six foot fence instead. I thought,That’s a little over the top.
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I have concluded that zeb …
I have concluded that zebras are black with white stripes. Why? When was the last time you saw a zebra with a job?
Continue Readingi was going to write a jo …
i was going to write a joke but my database latency is to high its a shame too because it was a really good joke
Continue ReadingPride is like varnish – a …
Pride is like varnish – a transparent layer of tacky gloss that’s easily removed with alcohol.
Continue ReadingMy wife and I recently ad …
My wife and I recently adopted a beautiful little ginger. We had a choice but he was easily the cutest. It’s ok, it’s a kitten.
Continue ReadingDoes anyone else ever hav …
Does anyone else ever have this irrational urge to blame everything on other people? Or is it just you?
Continue ReadingSince I was a child, I’ve …
Since I was a child, I’ve been spending every weeknight in a frayed nun’s dress, watching my favourite Bruce Willis film. Old habits, Die Hard.
Continue ReadingPizza jokes are all about …
Pizza jokes are all about the delivery.
Continue ReadingTrust me. It’s better to …
Trust me. It’s better to walk in on both of your parents than just one.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a new ha …
I’ve just bought a new hard drive for my computer, but I’ve come to realise that the instruction manuals are getting more and more complicated nowadays. I mean, I just don’t know that many languages.
Continue ReadingMy dog always barks when …
My dog always barks when there’s someone at the door. I don’t know why, as it’s never anyone for him.
Continue ReadingAuto-correct on iPhone dr …
Auto-correct on iPhone drives me mad . It’s so hard to write a dirty joke when it won’t let me swear.. Tucking pile of shot.
Continue ReadingOur baby son is due at th …
Our baby son is due at the end of the month. We’re going to call him Bill.
Continue ReadingIsn’t it a bit obvious wh …
Isn’t it a bit obvious when your enemy sends a threat letter to your house saying, “I know where you live”.
Continue ReadingThe council sent me a dis …
The council sent me a disabled badge today. I sent it back and asked for one that actually works.
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