The wife is like a box of …
The wife is like a box of chocolates, you always know what you’re gonna get.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was going to tell a jok …
I was going to tell a joke about my girlfriends chest, and I’ll come onto that later.
Continue ReadingMe and my limbo team go w …
Me and my limbo team go way back.
Continue ReadingMy mate asked me, “If you …
My mate asked me, “If you weren’t a hairdresser, what would you be doing?” I said, “Probably women.”
Continue ReadingIt’s amazing how many peo …
It’s amazing how many people are called Sarah Connor. It makes my job as a debt-collector much more fun.
Continue ReadingThe only time I don’t get …
The only time I don’t get on with paki’s, is when they board a plane.
Continue ReadingHow did the Zebra get his …
How did the Zebra get his stripes? He rescued four men while under mortar fire.
Continue ReadingMy sat nav packed up the …
My sat nav packed up the other day and I got lost. Luckily I saw a fork in the road. This enabled me to ask the driver of the cutlery lorry, which was upside down in a ditch, which way the A1 was.
Continue ReadingWhat’s the best way to ge …
What’s the best way to get across the middle east? Is road? Is air? Is rail……
Continue ReadingI spend a lot of time mes …
I spend a lot of time messing about with my bit on the side. I always end up settling for a Bobby Charlton style comb over though.
Continue ReadingGod must have loved the A …
God must have loved the Africans. He gave them beautiful landscapes, majestic wildlife, valuable mines as well as a tremendous physical strength. Mind you, he did give us guns and chains.
Continue ReadingThis is for you, Sarah: I …
This is for you, Sarah: I’m available.
Continue ReadingI thought I wasn’t going …
I thought I wasn’t going to go down too well with my new inmates But it seems they were impressed
Continue ReadingMy 13 year old daughter w …
My 13 year old daughter who goes to McEntee school in Walthamstow London says I’ve got a problem with trust. So I’ve decided to not pick her up from school tomorrow to show that I trust her to walk home alone.
Continue ReadingI just got fired from my …
I just got fired from my job as the local barber for setting my customers’ left and right on fire. Apparently “Sideburns’ weren’t what I thought they were.
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