I asked my mate ”What do …
I asked my mate ”What does confidential mean?” ”It’s secret, keeping it to myself.” He replied. ”I only asked you a question, you dont have to be like that.”
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I told my friend I have a …
I told my friend I have an appointment in the Midlands tomorrow with my Dermatologist. “Redditch?” he enquired. “No, but it is slightly sore”
Continue ReadingI had a great joke about …
I had a great joke about Madeline McCann, but I couldn’t get to my laptop to put it on this site and I knew I’d forget it, so I wrote it down on a bit of paper and left it in the hotel room, but when I came back it had completely disappeared… Oh the […]
Continue ReadingA man walks into a librar …
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on fire. Oh what a pity replies the librarian, its just gone out.
Continue ReadingMy wife is upset because …
My wife is upset because I didn’t get her what she asked for, for her birthday She said she wanted something that’s electrical, that vibrates and brings waves of pleasure. I got her the Ultimate Deluxe Rapid Fire X-Box 360 controller.
Continue ReadingI know a lot of very clev …
I know a lot of very clever jokes about umbrellas, but they usually go over peoples heads.
Continue ReadingI scored 556 in a cricket …
I scored 556 in a cricket match today. I could have scored more, but after nearly 6 hours at the crease my wife insisted I let my son have a bat.
Continue ReadingHow subtle is the b in su …
How subtle is the b in subtle?
Continue ReadingeBay: A crate of second h …
eBay: A crate of second hand Oranges, was 90 pence, now 10 pence. They must have been rejuiced.
Continue ReadingI wasn’t sure if holding …
I wasn’t sure if holding a fund raiser for people who can’t make decisions in life was the right thing to do, but I gave them the Benefit Of The Doubt
Continue ReadingJust started dating a com …
Just started dating a comedian, Can’t see it lasting very long, She’s started being funny.
Continue ReadingIt must be difficult for …
It must be difficult for Muslim women to tell each other apart when it comes to tagging photos on Facebook.
Continue ReadingI’ve bought two 100m tick …
I’ve bought two 100m tickets for the 2012 Olympics. You should have seen the size of the envelope they came in.
Continue ReadingIf man did not evolve fro …
If man did not evolve from apes, how come we like PG tips as much as they do?
Continue ReadingThey say ‘no news is good …
They say ‘no news is good news.’ Not if you want to watch the News.
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