I’ve just published a boo …
I’ve just published a book on preserving the rainforest and what we can do as a human race to help protect it. It’s over 2000 pages long.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I was going to give my gi …
I was going to give my girlfriend a watch that I’ve bought her. But it wasn’t the right time.
Continue ReadingI went to the doctors tod …
I went to the doctors today and said, “My leg keeps talking to me and asking me to lend it money.” The doctor replied, “I think your leg is broke.”
Continue ReadingI was in Dorothy Perkins …
I was in Dorothy Perkins with the wife earlier. Always wanted to try a threesome.
Continue ReadingMy wife was paralysed in …
My wife was paralysed in a car crash yesterday. I always warned her about driving at breakneck speed.
Continue ReadingI’ve started my own medic …
I’ve started my own medical practice but haven’t been making any money yet. My dad says I need to have patients.
Continue ReadingI slept like a baby last …
I slept like a baby last night. To be honest, I am only 2
Continue ReadingMy wife say’s she’ll leav …
My wife say’s she’ll leave me if I don’t do something about my Elvis obsession. It’s now or never
Continue ReadingMy mate called me an idio …
My mate called me an idiom the other day, I thought the insult was a bit cliched.
Continue ReadingWas in town the other day …
Was in town the other day when this little iranian lady shouted ‘ big’ish shoe please ‘ So I gave her one of my size 8 kickers – I was shoe shopping anyway
Continue ReadingMe and my wife were havin …
Me and my wife were having our tea last night, and for some reason we ended up having a food fight. I had the last laugh, when I threw the sword fish at her.
Continue ReadingWildlife cameramen seem t …
Wildlife cameramen seem to be very unlucky. They only ever seem to be able to find Meerkats that are watching tennis matches.
Continue ReadingImagine my shock at getti …
Imagine my shock at getting a letter from my doctor advising me I only had a month to live but thankfully the letter was not for me but for my son with the same name who lives with us. Close call.
Continue ReadingAs I walked through our l …
As I walked through our local forest, I found that an area had been cleared of trees and a gigantic eagle’s nest had been built in the exact center. It was eyrie.
Continue ReadingI just got on a bus with …
I just got on a bus with a bloke who works for Tesco. I said, “Come and sit next to me mate.” He said, “I offered to take the shopping to your car.” I said. “I know you did, my car is on my drive.”
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