I ran over a child the ot …
I ran over a child the other day in my car, he made a ‘badum’ sound when I hit him. So later I ran over a child carrying a cymbal.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I just bought a tow truck …
I just bought a tow truck for my new breakdown company… Business should really start to pick up
Continue ReadingSky News are currently ru …
Sky News are currently running the headline “Shannon’s ‘Aunt’ In 43k Benefit Fraud Rap”. Seeing this sort of thing must fill poor Shannon Matthews’ head with so many questions. Mainly “Why do all my relatives’ names come in quotes?”
Continue ReadingSusan Boyle and Peter Kay …
Susan Boyle and Peter Kay in the same room at the same time? I suspect editing.
Continue ReadingAs the judge read out my …
As the judge read out my conviction sheet, he said the GBH charges against me were looking bad giving I have a history of violence. I don’t see what my DVD collection had to do with the case.
Continue ReadingWhat is the definition of …
What is the definition of optimism? Posting a joke on Sickipedia that you just received by text and hoping that it is not a dupe.
Continue ReadingYou know what really gets …
You know what really gets on my nerves? Skin.
Continue ReadingA fat chick walked up to …
A fat chick walked up to me the other night in the club, and before she said anything to me, I burst out “Look, no sorry, I’m sure guys point out your obvious flaws, your double chin, your piggy nose, bloated stomach…” “But?” She interrupted. “Yea,” I replied, “thats pretty huge as well”.
Continue ReadingI stole a set of ladders …
I stole a set of ladders today when I was out for a walk. Although I didn’t realise until I got home that they came with a free window cleaner at the top of them.
Continue ReadingI always end up arguing w …
I always end up arguing with cross eyed people. I can never see their point of view. Same with mutes, they’ve got nothing to say for themselves.
Continue ReadingThis time last year I los …
This time last year I lost 55lbs. I’m a terrible babysitter.
Continue ReadingI can’t wait for tomorrow …
I can’t wait for tomorrow. It’s come to work in a bra and knickers day. Well, that’s what we’ve told the apprentice.
Continue ReadingLionel Ritchie was recent …
Lionel Ritchie was recently given a lifetime ban from Sea World. He was caught dancing on the sea lions.
Continue ReadingWhen you think society ha …
When you think society has rejected you and you’re alone, you come across sickipedia!
Continue ReadingGift Tokens. Preventing y …
Gift Tokens. Preventing your errant Grandson from spending his Christmas money on drugs and knives since 1932.
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