Author: qjoq.com

I am going to steal a board game from the local supermarket. I could get caught but I want to take the Risk.

Why should you never say boo to a meringue? Because it will eventually come back and hit you in the face.

The neighbours always complain when my girlfriend visits because she’s so noisy when she comes. But this morning, I finally took her car to Kwik Fit for a new exhaust.

I love my girlfriend more each day Since I started to increase the dosage, it’s taking her longer and longer to wake up and realise what I am doing

I failed my CB radio practical exam today. The instructor said “Do you copy?” I said “No, but I’ve got the answers written on my hand.”

I didn’t want to make a scene when I saw my wife in public with another man. So I threw a sharp stair in her direction. Unfortunately it’s now lodged in her brain. Theres no doubting the quality the B&Q stair range though.

I was sacked the day I nearly bankrupted our film company, hiring hundreds of people to be camouflaged soldiers in a battle scene. I never even gave it a second thought about the cost of the hidden extras.

Backside’s are quite smelly, on the whole.

My girlfriend asked me yesterday if I preferred her red or dark brown. I just wish she’d wear a clean pair of knickers.

BBC News: Taliban chief says victory close second on the left Mr taxi man sir?

I’ve just got one of those divers watches. I had to drown him to get it.