I take apart more IKEA fu …
I take apart more IKEA furniture than all the other people on my street put together.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
My dentist just won ‘dent …
My dentist just won ‘dentist of the year’ All he got was a little plaque.
Continue ReadingSKY NEWS: Supernova Star …
SKY NEWS: Supernova Star Burst ‘Could Wipe Out Earth’. There was never this sort of problem when they were called Opal Fruits.
Continue ReadingIsn’t a white baby on the …
Isn’t a white baby on the black market a bit of a grey area?
Continue ReadingI never realised there wa …
I never realised there was guy from Newcastle in the Spain team. In fact that Geordie Alba was very impressive.
Continue ReadingNicola Roberts is appeari …
Nicola Roberts is appearing at T4 on the Beach tomorrow. I suspect this will be her first time on a beach ever.
Continue ReadingI’ve been called a “sound …
I’ve been called a “sound system”, a “ghetto blaster” and a “tape deck”….I cant help but think Im being stereotyped!
Continue ReadingMy neighbours son is a re …
My neighbours son is a really bad tempered bicycle thief. He’s always going off on one.
Continue ReadingI hate fly paper. It loo …
I hate fly paper. It looks tacky.
Continue ReadingThe phrase it’s as easy a …
The phrase it’s as easy as taking candy from a baby is not true as there’s normally parents there to stop you So let’s just change It to it’s as easy as taking a child from a hotel room in Portugal
Continue ReadingI think I have a fetish f …
I think I have a fetish for books. Every time I think about reading, I always have to touch my shelf.
Continue ReadingEvery time my partner and …
Every time my partner and I make love is like the first time. Of course for them it usually is.
Continue ReadingWhen I gave my wife a pen …
When I gave my wife a penguin bar as a birthday present she looked up at me and said, “Is this some kind of joke?” “Yes,” I replied, “and on the inside there’s a chocolate covered biscuit.”
Continue Reading‘Out with the old and in …
‘Out with the old and in with the new’ has always been one of my mottos in life. And that’s why there’s about 64 dead elderly patients in the grounds of my nursing home.
Continue ReadingI wish I could see Muslim …
I wish I could see Muslim women’s necks. Sorry, my English is not good. What I mean to say is, I wish I could saw Muslim women’s necks.
Continue Reading