Arrogance and hypocrisy a …
Arrogance and hypocrisy are the two worst human traits and I see them everywhere I look Except in me because I’m better than everyone else
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I wish they had confused. …
I wish they had confused.com when I was a teenager.
Continue ReadingI put my clock forward li …
I put my clock forward like everybody told me to. It fell off the mantlepiece and smashed to bits.
Continue ReadingThe bank just rang me wit …
The bank just rang me with regards to my new current account. I must admit, I wasn’t very impressed with what I heard. A Paki’s voice.
Continue ReadingWas skidding all over the …
Was skidding all over the place today….. Should’ve probably wiped more than once!
Continue ReadingI was standing outside th …
I was standing outside the off licence earlier when I stopped some bloke who was going in. I said, “Excuse me mate, can you buy me some alcohol please?” He looked at me and said, “You must be old enough, surely?” “Yeah I am” I replied, “I just don’t have any money.”
Continue ReadingThese days forcing a man …
These days forcing a man to stand outside in the cold for hours on end holding a huge wooden stick upright is considered to be a cruel and unusual punishment. But back in Roman times it was standard practice.
Continue ReadingI’ve just been showing of …
I’ve just been showing off my new wheels to my mates, but they didn’t seem impressed. Perhaps they’d have been more enthusiastic if they were attached to a car.
Continue ReadingWent to the chippy and co …
Went to the chippy and couldn’t decide what to get, I said ”Ok, I’ll get my chips with peas because I really really love peas” ”Don’t get mushy” he said.
Continue ReadingMy sister had a baby yest …
My sister had a baby yesterday so I went to Clintons this morning to get her a card. “Did she have a girl or a boy?” asked the girl behind the counter. “Of course she did.” I replied.
Continue ReadingI’ve just spent over an h …
I’ve just spent over an hour queuing in the Job centre, Apparently they’re understaffed!
Continue ReadingI used to have an obsessi …
I used to have an obsession with theatres But i’m past that stage now
Continue ReadingI have a fantastic memory …
I have a fantastic memory. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I forgot something.
Continue ReadingI was visiting a brewery …
I was visiting a brewery and got trapped in the wheat toasting room. I was absolutely torrified!
Continue ReadingPaddy was in the swimming …
Paddy was in the swimming pool when the time-up call for green wristbands went. “Hey!” He shouted to the Lifeguard, “Oi’ve only been in fer foive minutes, here.” The Lifeguard sighed, “Sir, if you took off your blue goggles, you’d see your band is actually yellow”
Continue Reading