It’s only my vertigo that …
It’s only my vertigo that stopped me climbing the ladder to success.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I flashed an old lady in …
I flashed an old lady in the park this morning and it caused her to have a seizure. How was I meant to know she was epileptic.
Continue ReadingI’m so unpopular right no …
I’m so unpopular right now, the voices inside my head aren’t even talking to me.
Continue ReadingAdvice for the day: If yo …
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”
Continue ReadingWe were driving along whe …
We were driving along when my wife says, “Look antelope falling from the sky.” “Don’t be stupid it’s rain dear.”
Continue ReadingI’m getting sick and tire …
I’m getting sick and tired of all these jokes about missing children. Lets just face it, they’ve been done to death.
Continue ReadingMy ice business got liqui …
My ice business got liquidated due to a power cut.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a mermai …
What do you call a mermaid on the roof? Aerial.
Continue ReadingMichael Owen, Owen Hargre …
Michael Owen, Owen Hargreaves and Emile Heskey walk into a bar …. and ask for jobs.
Continue ReadingSome homeless guy was get …
Some homeless guy was getting mouthy with me outside the pub last night. “Lets take this inside,” I demanded.
Continue ReadingRaking leaves half-way th …
Raking leaves half-way through autumn is like wiping half-way through a dump.
Continue ReadingLet’s go back to simple m …
Let’s go back to simple mechanics for a moment.
Continue ReadingDid you hear that Diana w …
Did you hear that Diana was on the radio? And on the dashboard, the windscreen and the bonnet
Continue ReadingSix foot of soil? Over my …
Six foot of soil? Over my dead body!
Continue ReadingStart a facebook group to …
Start a facebook group to keep Simon Cowell’s X-factor song off the Christmas No.1 and you are hailed as a national hero. Do exactly the same thing to keep his charity single for Haiti off the top spot and you receive all kinds of abuse and death threats. Honestly, the British public can be so […]
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