What do you call an artis …
What do you call an artist with asthma? Van Cough
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an artist with asthma? Van Cough
Continue ReadingI was in the hospital and was a bit lost so I asked a porter, “Could you tell me where the psychiatric ward is?” He replied, “The psychiatric ward? Certainly sir, it’s round the bend.”
Continue ReadingGuitar players. Worried about your fingers hurting? Stop fretting
Continue ReadingSome teenagers standing outside the offfie asked me to buy them some booze this evening. They weren’t impressed when I took their twenty quid and bought them a bag of wine gums.
Continue ReadingIt’s just been announced that Amy Winehouse overdosed using Ketamine…what were the odds of that, 2-1 I wonder..shame she didn’t hold out for the Grand National.
Continue ReadingHerbs are notoriously smug about their anagrams, but tarragon is just arrogant.
Continue ReadingI need a ladder but I can’t afford one. So, steps will have to be taken.
Continue ReadingMy wife threw a plate at me so I went on the counter attack. But repeatedly punching the kitchen side-board achieved absolutely nothing.
Continue ReadingI got a watch for my birthday that’s engraved. It says, “You truly are the greatest person in the world. Happy birthday.” I got myself a card too, but I don’t know where I put it.
Continue ReadingBBC News: Senior dental consultant removed. I wonder who’s going to be filling in?
Continue ReadingThe Sun headline: Air strike planned Well I hope it doesn’t last long, I can’t hold my breath for more than 20 seconds.
Continue ReadingMy mate is an archaelogist and on a recent dig he found what he thought was the tip of a spear, but some of his colleagues were unsure. He explained it though, and to be fair, he did have a point.
Continue ReadingI just heard about the new “Pet Airways” on the news. Just think… if the plane blew up it really would rain cats and dogs!
Continue ReadingYou know you’re skint when you’re asking your sink for a tap
Continue ReadingStyes are an eyesore.
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