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What do you call an artis …

December 5January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on What do you call an artis …

What do you call an artist with asthma? Van Cough

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I was in the hospital and …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I was in the hospital and …

I was in the hospital and was a bit lost so I asked a porter, “Could you tell me where the psychiatric ward is?” He replied, “The psychiatric ward? Certainly sir, it’s round the bend.”

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Guitar players. Worried a …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Guitar players. Worried a …

Guitar players. Worried about your fingers hurting? Stop fretting

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Some teenagers standing o …

December 4January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Some teenagers standing o …

Some teenagers standing outside the offfie asked me to buy them some booze this evening. They weren’t impressed when I took their twenty quid and bought them a bag of wine gums.

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It’s just been announced …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on It’s just been announced …

It’s just been announced that Amy Winehouse overdosed using Ketamine…what were the odds of that, 2-1 I wonder..shame she didn’t hold out for the Grand National.

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Herbs are notoriously smu …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Herbs are notoriously smu …

Herbs are notoriously smug about their anagrams, but tarragon is just arrogant.

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I need a ladder but I can …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I need a ladder but I can …

I need a ladder but I can’t afford one. So, steps will have to be taken.

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My wife threw a plate at …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My wife threw a plate at …

My wife threw a plate at me so I went on the counter attack. But repeatedly punching the kitchen side-board achieved absolutely nothing.

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I got a watch for my birt …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I got a watch for my birt …

I got a watch for my birthday that’s engraved. It says, “You truly are the greatest person in the world. Happy birthday.” I got myself a card too, but I don’t know where I put it.

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BBC News: Senior dental c …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on BBC News: Senior dental c …

BBC News: Senior dental consultant removed. I wonder who’s going to be filling in?

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The Sun headline: Air str …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on The Sun headline: Air str …

The Sun headline: Air strike planned Well I hope it doesn’t last long, I can’t hold my breath for more than 20 seconds.

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My mate is an archaelogis …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on My mate is an archaelogis …

My mate is an archaelogist and on a recent dig he found what he thought was the tip of a spear, but some of his colleagues were unsure. He explained it though, and to be fair, he did have a point.

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I just heard about the ne …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on I just heard about the ne …

I just heard about the new “Pet Airways” on the news. Just think… if the plane blew up it really would rain cats and dogs!

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You know you’re skint whe …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on You know you’re skint whe …

You know you’re skint when you’re asking your sink for a tap

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Styes are an eyesore. …

December 4qjoq.comLeave a Comment on Styes are an eyesore. …

Styes are an eyesore.

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