Bank security checks are …
Bank security checks are pretty pointless if you’re talking to an Indian customer. “Can I take your mother’s maiden name please Mr Patel?” “Yeah. It’s Patel.”
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Huddersfield town sign Sc …
Huddersfield town sign Scannell. WOW! A new bus.
Continue ReadingPoured broth all over my …
Poured broth all over my car yesterday. Souped it up.
Continue ReadingSo I lay on my death bed …
So I lay on my death bed the other day, with my wife Tina, and my sister Marge by my side. When I saw them getting upset I comforted them – “Don’t cry for me, Marge and Tina…”
Continue ReadingI got hit by a car in Par …
I got hit by a car in Paris the other day and a French guy came upto me and said “Cest la vie” So I replied “La vie!” But it didn’t help.
Continue ReadingBeing a vet, I’m always l …
Being a vet, I’m always looking for ways to brighten up the horrible task of putting down animals. Do you think the CD tray from a computer would make a good hamster guillotine?
Continue ReadingIve been seeing a girl fr …
Ive been seeing a girl from my orienteering club for a few weeks now,but I think it’s fizzling out. We are not really going anywhere.
Continue ReadingMy little girl tearfully …
My little girl tearfully asked me to look under the bed to see if there were any monsters. I thought “If there isn’t any, I’m wasting my time. If there is a monster, then…” So I said “No.”
Continue ReadingI found myself trapped by …
I found myself trapped by some tall hedges, I was amazed.
Continue ReadingFor Sale: 4 Church plate …
For Sale: 4 Church plates, 25. Collection only.
Continue ReadingPrague [x] River Vltava [ …
Prague [x] River Vltava [x] St Vitus Cathedral [x] Loket [x] That is my Czech list.
Continue ReadingHave you heard about that …
Have you heard about that anti-Muslim Internet provider? It’s called Pork pork.
Continue ReadingMy bank manager doesn’t g …
My bank manager doesn’t give my business ideas the credit they deserve.
Continue ReadingI went and lay a bunch of …
I went and lay a bunch of flowers at my dad’s resting place today. “Why did you put flowers on my mattress, you freak?” he said.
Continue ReadingMy wife said to me that s …
My wife said to me that she thinks i’m a bit obessive about my job as a horticulturist. “Where do you think this stems from petal?” I replied.
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