Author: qjoq.com

News – ‘Prince Maezrk of Kenya to be executed within 24 hours’ Oh well, Heir today gone tomorrow.

How do you make teenage boys more interested in history? Teach them how to delete it.

I told my mate that I secretly married my girlfriend yesterday without my wife knowing. He said “Bigamy, disgusting.” I said, “No, skinny Susan, and she’s gorgeous.”

I’m sick of my wife, all she ever does is cheat death.

My girlfriend won’t swallow. She’s not that sort of bird.

I said to my wife earlier,”I’m gonna tell your mother I’ll give her a tenner if she runs into the wall face first.” She went,”Don’t you dare” I went,”It’s not a dare..it’s more like a bet”

I’ve got the choice of either running away with my bulimic mistress, or stick by my anorexic wife. It’s slim pickings.

As I’m indie, I hate rivers. They’re too mainstream.

Why can’t you hear a dog whistle? Because they can’t.