At last! I can get a keba …
At last! I can get a kebab and not feel guilty when I refuse when I’m asked if I want salad with it!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Sarcasm, the lowest form …
Sarcasm, the lowest form of wit? I was always under the impression it was Jim Davidson
Continue Reading“How depressing, it’s so …
“How depressing, it’s so cold and grey,” said the wife. “Well, it is January,” I replied… then I noticed the dead elephant lying in our front room.
Continue ReadingAs my old grandad used to …
As my old grandad used to say: “A person who has never made a mistake has never been married”
Continue ReadingProblems being a single l …
Problems being a single loser? There’s a cat for that
Continue Readingdon’t you think its funny …
don’t you think its funny that in the Olympics black people are good at all the running events and white people are good at all the shooting events?
Continue ReadingMy wife couldn’t come to …
My wife couldn’t come to terms with the death of her poodle and asked me to show some sympathy. I thought,”Stuff it.”
Continue ReadingFrom a young age if I was …
From a young age if I was ill, the first thing I was told was to take pills and drink lots of fluid, if I couldn’t sleep: “Here’s a pill”. Trouble with my ADHD – more pills. But, I slip one ecstasy pill in my little brother’s vodka and I’m the bad influence.
Continue ReadingIn my defence on facebook …
In my defence on facebook she was “interested in men”.
Continue ReadingIve realised my wife has …
Ive realised my wife has a lot in common with turkeys. Too much skin around the neck and they both like to gobble.
Continue ReadingMy friend just showed me …
My friend just showed me a picture of his new girlfriend, who he says is from Eastern Europe. I looked at the picture and said ‘she looks nothing like a frog.’ ‘What are you on about?’ He said. ‘I told you she’s a Tad-Polish.’
Continue ReadingI love it when celebritie …
I love it when celebrities act like their name suggests, such as Lady Gaga or Princess Di.
Continue ReadingIs crazy paving really al …
Is crazy paving really all it’s cracked up to be?
Continue ReadingMy exercise instructor ga …
My exercise instructor gave a demonstration on how to lose weight. I don’t think he showed all the exercises though. He skipped quite a lot.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend said, “You’ …
My girlfriend said, “You’re too judgemental of me.” I gave her a 6/10 for her posture during that sentence.
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