My boss said. “You’ve bee …
My boss said. “You’ve been early every day this year so far. I take it the traffic jam issues you had last year are gone?” “Yeah, I traded in my car.” “For public transport? Good man.” “For an ambulance.”
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I Met a guy at the airpor …
I Met a guy at the airport who said he was a child psychologist. I said “quit living in the past, dude”. “You’re like 45 now!”
Continue ReadingMe and my brother wore th …
Me and my brother wore the same shirt to town today. We both found it very difficult trying to walk.
Continue ReadingContacting dead astronaut …
Contacting dead astronauts is easy. It’s not Rocket Seance.
Continue ReadingI was feeling confident l …
I was feeling confident last night so went out into town for a couple. Threesomes are great.
Continue ReadingPaddy: Hey Murphy, do you …
Paddy: Hey Murphy, do you like Eminem? Murphy: What, the chocolate? Paddy: No, the rapper. Murphy: What’s so good about M&M’s wrapper?
Continue ReadingMy dog is worried about t …
My dog is worried about the economy. Dog food is up to $3.00 per can. That’s $21.00 in dog money!
Continue ReadingI just ordered a new font …
I just ordered a new font. It’s coming by Courier.
Continue ReadingChris brown had the right …
Chris brown had the right idea. Driving a lamborghini is awesome
Continue ReadingGoogled Sickipedia and th …
Googled Sickipedia and this is what I found: Database Latency too High.
Continue ReadingMy sister named her baby …
My sister named her baby yesterday. Stupid name if you ask me.
Continue ReadingSaw this new headline yes …
Saw this new headline yesterday ‘PC battered to death’ … Some people really hate the database latency too high page.
Continue ReadingI was reading this book o …
I was reading this book on the anatomy of a pig. It was pretty standard, but I got to the end and found there to be a twist in the tale.
Continue ReadingIf i can be of any help t …
If i can be of any help to you, then you are in worse trouble than i thought.
Continue ReadingMy local pub has decided …
My local pub has decided it will donate all the money raised from its special ‘Indian Set Meal’ to help the starving people of India. It consists of a Chicken Bury Auntie, a Nan Dead and a Papa Gone.
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