My friend e-mailed me tod …
My friend e-mailed me today asking for a good website about the place to buy the best sausages. I sent him a couple of links.
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My wife picked me up from …
My wife picked me up from work on Friday. She surprised me with a romantic weekend away in Paris. It was like a little adventure! Driving on the wrong side of the road and having people beeping their horns and shouting insults in foreign langauges. But she somehow managed to get through London and arrived […]
Continue ReadingThose who throw dirt are …
Those who throw dirt are sure to lose ground.
Continue Reading‘F’ to tha ‘A’ to tha ‘J’ …
‘F’ to tha ‘A’ to tha ‘J’ to tha ‘I’ to tha ‘T’ ‘A’ That’s the Fajita Rap.
Continue ReadingI love children in need. …
I love children in need. …What charity appeal?
Continue ReadingHave you ever stepped on …
Have you ever stepped on an oscillator? It hertz.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s constantly brag …
My mate’s constantly bragging about being a brilliant mechanic. He’s always talking the torque.
Continue ReadingMy wife wanted some cop r …
My wife wanted some cop roleplay last night, and I really got into it. I even gave her a parking ticket.
Continue ReadingMy football team was a pl …
My football team was a player short, so I said I’d bring my mate Leroy.One lad said, “Is he the one with mixed race parents?” When I nodded, he asked, “So he’s not a full black then?” I said, “No. He’s a centre half.”
Continue ReadingMcDonald’s drive through. …
McDonald’s drive through. Because eating your burger in the drivers seat of your car, sat in a bleak, uninspiring industrial car park is still infinitely preferable than having to be near the kind of person who sits down in the restaurant.
Continue ReadingThe food at Nando’s is fo …
The food at Nando’s is fowl.
Continue ReadingDid you hear about the de …
Did you hear about the deformed slice of ham? It was in bread.
Continue ReadingMy mum threatened to stab …
My mum threatened to stab me in the eye with a needle yesterday. I failed to see the point in this.
Continue ReadingI ordered some food in th …
I ordered some food in the pub last night, the barmaid said, “What table is it?” I replied, “Oak I think.”
Continue ReadingI was watching the film ‘ …
I was watching the film ‘Mulholland Drive’ the other day, but I just couldn’t work out what was going on. Probably because there were so many pot holes.
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