When I was in the army, w …
When I was in the army, we were taught to shoot first and ask questions later. Mind you we never got many answers.
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Extra Extra Buy one get o …
Extra Extra Buy one get one free on gum.
Continue ReadingSeen the group on Faceboo …
Seen the group on Facebook “Boy who snapped his COD in half to show how much his girlfriend means to him”. I must say I don’t know how snapping a fish in half proves anything.
Continue ReadingHow does a blonde try to …
How does a blonde try to kill a bird? Throws it off a cliff.
Continue ReadingI was in the queue for Sl …
I was in the queue for Slimming World for 3 hours yesterday before giving up and going home. I couldn’t stand the weight.
Continue ReadingI went shopping today hop …
I went shopping today hoping to update my look. The sales girl informed me that combat chic was the latest thing, pointing to a mannequin that was sporting the current fashion. The boots are cute, I thought, but I just can’t see myself in camouflage.
Continue ReadingSky Sports News Channel i …
Sky Sports News Channel is changing its name to Daily Sport News. That way, no one will be in any doubt what the channel is actually for.
Continue Reading“Winehouse DEAD”. Unfortu …
“Winehouse DEAD”. Unfortunately, it’s only Threshers going into administration.
Continue ReadingWhen my son asked me what …
When my son asked me what my first nickname was I replied, ‘Scarface’. “But dad you have no scars on your face?”, “No, but I introduced your mother to my little friend”.
Continue ReadingJust had a football match …
Just had a football match with Steven Hawking, hes rubbish in goal, but hes a good dribbler.
Continue ReadingI was driving home from w …
I was driving home from work when I saw a sign that said, ‘Caution, Bikes on the road”. Which made me think, since when did their bikes become more of a danger to me, than my car does to them?
Continue ReadingThe government finally pl …
The government finally plans to make a memorial for the Boxing Day Tsunami. I couldn’t help but feel a memorial for the victims would be more appropriate.
Continue ReadingInsanity does not run thr …
Insanity does not run through my family. Rather, it takes a stroll through, getting to know everyone personally.
Continue ReadingI said to my wife “today …
I said to my wife “today is my day off and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets”. “awww..” she replied, “but why three?” I said “they are for you and your parents”
Continue ReadingHow do you stop a girl fr …
How do you stop a girl from falling off her bike? Remove the Saddle.
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