If you get arrested for s …
If you get arrested for stealing hay , do you automatically get bail ?
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
It always amuses me that …
It always amuses me that no matter how hard i try to find a nice girl, when I go onto the internet I’m told there are always plenty of “Hot women who want me in my local area”.
Continue ReadingI was playing in a footba …
I was playing in a football match with some of my work colleagues. My boss had the ball and was running towards the opposition goal; I was quickly following beside him… “Lay me off!” I shouted I no longer have a job.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call an India …
What do you call an Indian in a cupboard? A hiding Sikh.
Continue ReadingIf I agree with you, we w …
If I agree with you, we would both be wrong.
Continue ReadingI find it quite hard talk …
I find it quite hard talking to Children. But I’ve noticed if I shift my leg to the side they don’t notice
Continue ReadingThe new girl at work is a …
The new girl at work is a real brown nose. I saw her in Lesbian Rimmers 11 last month.
Continue ReadingI always thought ‘The Moo …
I always thought ‘The Moonwalk’ was overrated so I’ve invented a new dance for moon dwellers called ‘Earthwalk’ where you just simply walk normally.
Continue ReadingWhat do you get if you cr …
What do you get if you cross the Italian Mafia and the IRA? Nowhere to eat or drink in New York.
Continue ReadingI have been munching on l …
I have been munching on little bits of metal for the last few weeks. Not one of my five but its a staple diet.
Continue ReadingThis really ugly woman go …
This really ugly woman goes to see her doctor, severely depressed and suicidal. “Doc, I can’t stand it any more,” she says. “No-one will look at me, touch me or kiss me. Can you help me at all?” she asks. The doctor replies, “Sure, just lie down over there on the couch first. Face down, […]
Continue ReadingI always carry a piece of …
I always carry a piece of paper on how to kill a man I like to keep a mental note.
Continue ReadingAccording to the news, so …
According to the news, some scientists are saying that the severe UK winter weather is actuallythebuildup to another ice age. Personally I thought theyd run out of idea’s for sequels by now, I mean how many more situations can that rat thing get itself into while chasing an acorn?
Continue ReadingI took a vase to get valu …
I took a vase to get valued on the Antiques Roadshow, and they told me it was ‘absolutely priceless’. Well, I got 4 quid for it at a car boot sale last weekend. Who’s laughing now?
Continue ReadingI asked my mum what she h …
I asked my mum what she had bought me for my birthday? She said, “I’ve bought you an Apple Mac.” Most people would be over the moon with hearing this, I’m not ’cause… My name is Mac.
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