I don’t have to be dead t …
I don’t have to be dead to donate my organ!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
Teenagers everywhere are …
Teenagers everywhere are taking part in new Internet craze, ‘Planking.’ Personally I prefer to replace the PL with a W and take part in that world wide craze instead.
Continue ReadingA man once offered me a t …
A man once offered me a thousand pounds to orally pleasure him. A thousand pounds. Well, I had my chance and I blew it.
Continue ReadingPutting on ice skates, th …
Putting on ice skates, the closest thing to walking in high heels a man can get.
Continue ReadingI applied for a job at my …
I applied for a job at my local benefits office and accidentally sent the wrong CV. This early display of incompetence should work in my favor.
Continue Reading“Post Mortem Results on F …
“Post Mortem Results on Flat Children” Squashed…
Continue ReadingSo many kittens, so few r …
So many kittens, so few recipes.
Continue ReadingMy friends say I spend to …
My friends say I spend too much time in front of the mirror. I disagree, but I will look into it immediately.
Continue ReadingJust bought a used car of …
Just bought a used car off an alcoholic. It gets me from AA to Beer.
Continue ReadingI got a right bolocking y …
I got a right bolocking yesterday. My grandma came round and she has such a hairy upper lip. When she was leaving, she asked me why I wouldn’t kiss her good bye. Apprently my answer, “Sorry, must-dash,” wasn’t the best choice of words.
Continue ReadingI love my new hidden tale …
I love my new hidden talent.. ..Invisibility.
Continue ReadingEverybody’s on death row, …
Everybody’s on death row, some just get to enjoy it more than others.
Continue ReadingMy boss called me into hi …
My boss called me into his office “why do i hear you talking when there is still work to be done” he shouted i said “because you have ears”
Continue ReadingBloke asks the librarian …
Bloke asks the librarian if he could have a book on Genies She says “You wish”
Continue ReadingA crab walks into a bar a …
A crab walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a pint please, but if I’m not satisfied with it, I’d like to be compensated with ten bottles of champagne.” The barman says, “Why the big clause?”
Continue Reading