I made a Freudian slip ea …
I made a Freudian slip earlier. I threw a banana skin in front of my mate, Dave Freudian.
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Is it actually possible f …
Is it actually possible for Stevie Wonder to give his wife a good seeing to?
Continue ReadingI was reading a comic and …
I was reading a comic and the last page was just a blank piece of paper with a crayon. Now I think it was intentional, but I don’t want to draw any conclusions
Continue ReadingHit me at 40 and there’s …
Hit me at 40 and there’s an 80% chance i’ll die Hit me at 30 and there’s an 80% chance i’ll live Hit me at 70 … and it serves me right for trying to cross the motorway
Continue ReadingI’ve just been into my lo …
I’ve just been into my local pet shop. I said, “How much is that doggy in the window?” “The one with the waggly tail?” the owner replied, laughing. “No, the one with three legs. I’ve only got twenty quid,” I replied.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me that I ju …
My mate told me that I just don’t understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time.
Continue ReadingMy son started secondary …
My son started secondary school today, but he was worried when he heard the older kids flush the new starters heads down the toilet. I said, “Don’t take any notice son, that doesn’t happen any more.” “Are you sure” he replied, “because I don’t want it to happen to me.” “Yes I’m sure son, They […]
Continue ReadingWhat’s the difference bet …
What’s the difference between Maddie and Jordan? When I look at a picture of Jordan, I don’t get a semi
Continue ReadingWhy did the American cros …
Why did the American cross the road? To steal oil from the other side.
Continue ReadingFeatured Video on Youtube …
Featured Video on Youtube: Glowstick Lesbians – Black Ninja I’m 75% happy
Continue ReadingBBC SPORT: Real trio rule …
BBC SPORT: Real trio ruled out of Spurs game So they’re going to field a fake trio instead?
Continue ReadingI met this really hot gir …
I met this really hot girl in the pub last week and I’ve been trying to get her to go out with me. I don’t think the feelings are mutual though. Last night she said, “That’s him officer.”
Continue ReadingLike Pinocchio my son isn …
Like Pinocchio my son isn’t real, in fact he is made of Lego. He will be in pieces when I tell him.
Continue ReadingMy wife was ill so I had …
My wife was ill so I had to do the shopping for the first time ever. She said, “You’ll need a shopping trolley. They’re outside by the entrance. You have to put a pound in to release them.” I went to the entrance, put my pound in, and pushed it into the store. I got […]
Continue ReadingFacebook – for hideous, f …
Facebook – for hideous, fat, ugly women to deceive lads into thinking they look human.
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