My wife told me her mother was coming over and asked me to be nice to her. ‘I’m always nice!’ I protested. ‘What about last week when she asked if you would get her a drink of water?’ She asked. ‘Did I not get her a drink of water?’ I asked in reply. ‘Yes.’ She […]
Continue ReadingI guess its ok to leave baby in the corner now.
Continue ReadingCondoms, the only reason I use the self serve checkout.
Continue ReadingLoads of people’s Facebook statuses have been about how they are watching the Pride of Britain Awards with a box of tissues. I turned it on, and there weren’t any fit women.
Continue ReadingI’ve just bought a flat that overlooks a frozen food factory. I’ve got a Birds eye view of it.
Continue ReadingHear about the new fast-food restaurant that has opened in Bradford? It’s called Burka King.
Continue ReadingIf someone says ‘I love you’ and you don’t feel the same way, say ‘I love YouTube’ really fast!
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend left me because I never keep things to myself.
Continue ReadingI’ve got a friend who’s a female private investigator. Or gynaecologist, as he likes to be called.
Continue ReadingFacebook is down. What im I going to do with my life?
Continue ReadingA woman seated at the cinema was surprised to find, sitting in the two adjacent seats, a man with his arm around a sheep dog. All through the movie, she noticed the dog watching the film with apparent understanding snarling when the villain appeared, yelping happily at the funny parts. At the end of the […]
Continue ReadingThe good thing about having a ginger kid is you don’t have to beat him up yourself.
Continue Reading“The postman always rings twice.” …A year if he works for Royal Mail.
Continue ReadingYou know you’re bored when: It’s 5.30 am and your sat in your boxers watching Countdown with anagrammer,com open :/
Continue ReadingTK Maxx have had to withdraw their promotion on coats this week A spokesman said, “it’s a shame, we could have made a killing on these…”
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