Author: qjoq.com

Yesterday I was walking home in front of my wife when she said, “Tom, why do you always walk in front of me?” I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”

I was on the Antiques Roadshow the other day getting a valuation for my Babe Ruth statue. To my amazement the expert said it was worth only worth 500 quid. “I thought it would be worth much more,” I replied. “Well it’s just a ball park figure,” he retorted.

If anyone else is less observant than me, I haven’t noticed.

Feeling peckish, I decided to send my young son to the shop to fetch a hot pie for me. That was hours ago and there’s been no sign so I’m really starting to panic now. How long do pies stay edible?

I decided not to sand my cube down to a sphere. In the end, it would be pointless.

I hate having the top bunk. I always oversleep.

Isn’t it pointless to keep bailing out a certain Mediterranean country in the Eurozone? The money would have been more useful if it was printed on Greaseproof paper in the first place.

I just looked up the word “Indescribable” – ironically it’s a describing word.