Author: qjoq.com

I’ve just invented a machine that can immediately tell you what condition a painting is in. It’s state-of-the-art technology.

I was masturbating last night. But now I have become an adult, my letters come addressed to Mr.Bating.

You’ve really got to hand it to deaf people

I call my ex wife Eleanor Rigby. Because I keep her face in a jar by the door.

I can’t stand all the Latin abbreviations they use at Summer college. I only really enrolled to get away from et al.

Last night a gang of chavs attacked me with torches. I punched their lights out.

My wife thinks the trick I do when I change a bowl into a small plate, isn’t magic, it’s sorcery.