qjoq.com – Page 380

I was sent home from work …

February 9qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I was sent home from work in January with extreme flatulance. Took the wind right out of my sales.

Wales v Costa Rica. Gary …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Wales v Costa Rica. Gary speed memorial match announced. Well i am not hanging around to watch that.

What do you get if you li …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head.

What do you call it when …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

What do you call it when a race of people magically disappears? Geniecide.

I was walking through the park after midnight, when somebody started following me. I walked a bit faster, but they kept up the pace. The person kept following me until finally, I stopped and turned around to see who it was. To my surprise, it was my secondary school maths teacher. I said, “Look, I […]

This bloke at the sewage …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

This bloke at the sewage plant was complaining that there was too much feces to process. Then again, a bad workman always blames his stools.

My mate was hallucinating …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

My mate was hallucinating when he fell off a balcony. I think he tripped.

BBC News: “Typhoon jets g …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

BBC News: “Typhoon jets grounded” Maybe that’ll teach them to stop getting into fights.

Just to remind all young …

February 8January 1qjoq.comLeave a Comment

Just to remind all young kids, If you cant take the heat stay out of the tumble dryer.

I gave my wife a puzzled …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I gave my wife a puzzled look earlier… Cut her into 1000 tiny pieces.

I bought a new necklace e …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I bought a new necklace earlier that made my skin go a funny blue colour so I suspected it was a rip off. Turns out it was a 24ct gold bracelet.

I had a water fight with …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I had a water fight with a few locals to cool everybody down yesterday. My bosses at Oxfam aid Relief said that water was for drinking and have pulled me out of Kenya.

I feel bad for all the su …

February 8qjoq.comLeave a Comment

I feel bad for all the suckers who’ve bought counterfeit tickets for next year’s Olympics at such ridiculous prices. I decided to spend my hard earned cash on a Glastonbury ticket instead.