I just downloaded a court …
I just downloaded a court game from the internet. It says I get a 14 day free trial.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
They say in shops: “If yo …
They say in shops: “If you break it, then buy it.” Personally I prefer to leave it there and walk away slowly like nothing happened.
Continue ReadingJust saw Frank Bruno’s wi …
Just saw Frank Bruno’s wife with two black eyes and a broken nose. She must have been using the microwave.
Continue ReadingI’m beginning to think Yo …
I’m beginning to think YouTubers are paedophiles. The two most popular videos of all time are “Baby” and Gaga.
Continue ReadingThe government have apolo …
The government have apologised for taking over fifty years to pay compensation to Thalidomide victims. Apparently they’ve been a bit short-handed.
Continue Reading“What do you mean you’re …
“What do you mean you’re not buying my car?” I said to the guy collecting it from Ebay. “Well I don’t think it’s yours,” he said. “Apart from the forged papers, there’s just something wrong about it?” “So you’re turning down the chance to buy a thirty grand car for 500?” “Yes mate, you don’t […]
Continue ReadingMy boss called me into hi …
My boss called me into his office this morning. He said, “I’ve recently been thinking about leaving the company, I would like to spend the next 5 years taking my wife around the world.” I said, “That sounds nice.” He said, “After some careful consideration, I have decided that I want you to take over.” […]
Continue ReadingI’ve given up sniffing gl …
I’ve given up sniffing glue for Lent …and I’m sticking to it
Continue ReadingTOP TIP Impress your mate …
TOP TIP Impress your mates and save yourself extortionate contract fees… … just add the sentence, ‘Sent from my iPhone’ to all your emails and texts.
Continue ReadingMy wife says she’s leavin …
My wife says she’s leaving me because i’m too skeptical….. She won’t though…
Continue ReadingWho fancies a contest to …
Who fancies a contest to see who can get banned from Britology.com the quickest?
Continue ReadingAfter my daughter was cau …
After my daughter was caught shoplifting, I put her on the straight and narrow. She’s getting pretty good at tightrope walking now.
Continue ReadingI rubbed tomato ketchup a …
I rubbed tomato ketchup all over my face today. In Heinzsight it wasn’t such a good idea.
Continue ReadingMy mate told me if I cut …
My mate told me if I cut my pet goat’s horns off it would become more confident. It didn’t work – if anything it’s got even more sheepish.
Continue ReadingSeparating children by ac …
Separating children by academic ability is cruel…. It always ends in tiers.
Continue Reading