An old man came up to me …
An old man came up to me & said ‘…L , M, N, Grrr, P, Q…’ I thought ‘what a weird-o’
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I followed this white bir …
I followed this white bird with really long legs home the other night. Police are doing me for storking.
Continue ReadingTwo parrots on a perch. O …
Two parrots on a perch. One turns to the other and says, “Can you smell fish?”
Continue ReadingWhoever said, “Sticks and …
Whoever said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” obviously hasn’t called their missus a fat slag.
Continue ReadingMy mum had a party at her …
My mum had a party at her house last night. I went into the kitchen at one point to find her with her tongue down her new boyfriend’s throat. I said, “Get a broom.” She said, “Don’t you mean ‘Get a room’?” I said, “No. I’ve dropped some Monster Munch on your new carpet.”
Continue Reading“Loose lips sink ships” I …
“Loose lips sink ships” I don’t know about that, but they certainly took down a load of seamen.
Continue ReadingTheres a thin line betwee …
Theres a thin line between madness and genius. . and refugees going from Ethiopia to Sudan
Continue ReadingI sat down at job intervi …
I sat down at job interview today. The interviewer said immediately, “Clearly, Mr. Jones, you’ve been lying on your C.V. It says here, that you’ve worked in PR for nearly five years, and yet you’re only sixteen? How can that be?” And I thought loads of 11 year-olds had a paper round.
Continue ReadingVietnamese cannabis facto …
Vietnamese cannabis factories are popping up all over the country. Police say they are trying to ‘nip it in the bud’
Continue ReadingI drank some orange today …
I drank some orange today, with a ‘best before’ date of the 1st of October and it was totally fine. Why don’t they actually print something useful instead? … Like .. ‘Best before toothpaste’
Continue ReadingAfter four months of dest …
After four months of destryoing the re-occuring spider web on my car, I give up. This brave spider has earned the right to live inside my car mirror; unlike 50,000 people in the UK called Mohammed.
Continue ReadingI’ve thought it through a …
I’ve thought it through and through and finally decided that dwelling on my past is not appropriate and I need to look towards the future.. So, if I owe you money, I’m sorry.
Continue ReadingReports are coming in of …
Reports are coming in of a pair of kids who seem to be setting up some kind of criminal network based on a code of honour, where punishments are harsh but there is always respect. Local police suggest that, while these are heartening signs, it’s probably just symptomatic of a short-lived fad. “We’ve seen this […]
Continue ReadingFool me once, shame on me …
Fool me once, shame on me… Fool me twice, shame on me… Fool me 3 times… Yeah, this alzheimers is worse then I first thought.
Continue ReadingI didn’t know how to spel …
I didn’t know how to spell ‘plagiarised’ so I copied and pasted it.
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