Author: qjoq.com

I just found out I’m dyslexic, it’s quite saddening. Well, you know, when life gives you melons . . .

My mobile ran out of credit. So I popped into a newsagents. “Top up?” said the busty young miss behind the counter. “Yes please” I stammered, “And when it is, may I suck your nipples?”.

As expected, Doctor Who’s new herb range has been a success. After all, he is a Thyme Lord.

I just bought a new pair of trainers to help me when I start jogging. Hopefully they’ll give me the motivational support and advice I need.

I was in HMV looking for the country section. I couldn’t find it, so I went up to the man and asked him, “Where’s the country section?” He said, “Try the other side mate.” So I went to his other ear and said, “Where’s the country section?”

What do you call a Chav on fire? Sauteed.

Fibonacci numbers. It’s as easy as 1, 1, 2, 3.