An obsessive compulsive w …
An obsessive compulsive walks into a bar…. 13 times, right foot first.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
It would be great to judg …
It would be great to judge a spelling bee “Spell threw.” “Can you use it in a sentence?” “I threw the ball through the goal.”
Continue ReadingPlease make sure your fin …
Please make sure your fingers are aligned to the keyboard correctly whilst talking to prospective employers. You don’t want to be telling them about your previous HIV
Continue ReadingTrigonometry: it’s hyp to …
Trigonometry: it’s hyp to b squared.
Continue ReadingI just had a feeling of d …
I just had a feeling of deja vu, then I thought: thats never happened before
Continue ReadingWhen I moved into my new …
When I moved into my new house one of my neighbours came round and asked if I wanted to sign up for the Neighbourhood Watch. Obviously I refused, given my wife had only just bought me one for my birthday and I could look at it any time I wanted to.
Continue ReadingI had a threesome with a …
I had a threesome with a scalene and an isosceles. It was a love triangle.
Continue ReadingI want my last words to b …
I want my last words to be “I’d rather die.”
Continue ReadingI made a really good citr …
I made a really good citrus fruit that grows underwater It’s sublime
Continue ReadingWhen I was 15 my parents …
When I was 15 my parents told me I was adopted. And that I would be meeting my new parents that afternoon.
Continue ReadingI came home from work las …
I came home from work last night to find a copper rooting through my CD rack. Turns out we’d been burgled and he was just looking for Prince.
Continue ReadingThe Devil Makes Work For …
The Devil Makes Work For Idle Hands. He’ll have his work cut out if her ever visits Liverpool then.
Continue ReadingWe were trying to find a …
We were trying to find a way to cross the Nile, when we came across a ford in the river. We had a good laugh at the unlucky driver and continued with our search.
Continue ReadingWent to Birmingham at the …
Went to Birmingham at the weekend because my friend said it was good for depression. He was right…. I got it.
Continue ReadingI hate people who act irr …
I hate people who act irrationally, they should be killed at birth.
Continue Reading