The jokes about those Rus …
The jokes about those Russians jumping off the block of flats are about a step too far.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
I’ve been told to rest by …
I’ve been told to rest by my doctor. I’ve already put my sleeping bag next to his desk.
Continue ReadingI’m not finding it easy g …
I’m not finding it easy giving up lying. It’s quite hard to be honest.
Continue ReadingWhat’s pink and hard? A p …
What’s pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife!
Continue ReadingThere was a bunch of peop …
There was a bunch of people outside Buckingham Palace this morning discussing the fact there were two flags flying on the roof. Talk about double standards.
Continue ReadingHi, I’m Barry Scott and I …
Hi, I’m Barry Scott and I think my hearing aid might be broken.
Continue ReadingWhenever I look at my wif …
Whenever I look at my wife and her conjoined twin I think: “Now there’s a woman and a half…”
Continue ReadingFacebook page : “A local …
Facebook page : “A local teenage girl died 8 months ago. While on Facebook I saw that her boyfriend still has her listed as his girlfriend… True love never dies.” Or, maybe he prefers her now she’s dead..?
Continue ReadingI walked into the shop an …
I walked into the shop and the girl behind the counter said, “Sorry, no dogs.” “That’s OK, I brought my own. It’s actually cigarettes I’m looking for?”
Continue ReadingAt midnight last night, t …
At midnight last night, the sun came back up. I’m not sure why I was eating newspapers in the first place.
Continue ReadingMe and my girlfriend were …
Me and my girlfriend were discussing the things we have in common the other day, it turns out thers quite a lot. The same colour eyes We like the same genre of music We went to the same school We even found out we have the same dad…
Continue ReadingI’ve just started a busin …
I’ve just started a business which is a rat and mouse washing service. It’s going great… All our customers are squeaky clean
Continue ReadingMy neighbour and i are ha …
My neighbour and i are having an argument. Every time he sees me he throws mud clods. I’ll win because he’s already losing ground.
Continue ReadingMy mate goes for regular …
My mate goes for regular check-up’s. He’s an upskirt specialist.
Continue ReadingI was reading about this …
I was reading about this new diet where you’re not allowed to drink alcohol. Well, I read the first sentence at least.
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