I’m setting up a law prac …
I’m setting up a law practice that specialises in defending Paedophiles. To attract business we’re advertising for a barely legal secretary.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
What’s everyone voting? S …
What’s everyone voting? Sick I hope.
Continue ReadingMy mate said to me, “Have …
My mate said to me, “Have you ever thought about just packing a suitcase, leaving everything behind and starting again somewhere new?” I said, “There’s no way I could do that!” “Why, because you love your wife and kids?” “No, I don’t have a suitcase.”
Continue ReadingThere’s incredible chemis …
There’s incredible chemistry between me and my wife right now. She’s currently dissolving in an oil drum filled with hydrochloric acid.
Continue ReadingI’ve just seen a river th …
I’ve just seen a river that had a wall built across it so that the water cascaded down it. It was weird.
Continue Readingrelatively speaking…… …
relatively speaking……..im your cousin
Continue ReadingI tried to hang myself wi …
I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
Continue ReadingWhat do you call a lion w …
What do you call a lion wearing a stylish hat? A dandy lion.
Continue ReadingI said to my senile grand …
I said to my senile grandad “I’m a black belt in Karate” “Which Dan are you?” He asked. “Your youngest daughters son!” I replied angrily.
Continue ReadingI stick figs up the fanni …
I stick figs up the fannies of random girls because I can’t get any dates.
Continue ReadingMy local estate agent off …
My local estate agent offered to sell my house for free. Now I have no money and nowhere to live.
Continue ReadingI was doing a bit of stan …
I was doing a bit of stand-up in London last night. I also did some sitting down.
Continue ReadingMy tarot card reading bus …
My tarot card reading business has gone bust. My life’s in runes.
Continue ReadingMy wife said she was leav …
My wife said she was leaving me because I don’t listen Or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention
Continue ReadingNever judge a book by its …
Never judge a book by its movie.
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