Me and my mate came out of a shop earlier,to be greeted by a dog tied up that started barking at us. “Thats an ugly looking thing” my mate started,”what type of dog is that?” he asked. “I’d say cross probably” I replied. “How can you tell that?” he asked. “Easy” I said,” I booted […]
Continue Reading“Mum, I’m leaving home!” I burst out. “That’s fine darling” she said. “Aren’t you so supposed to try and convince me to stay?” I pleaded. “No. I think it’s the right thing to do” “I don’t believe this” I screamed. “You don’t love me anymore” “Of course I do” she replied, “But please stop calling […]
Continue ReadingSo GS4 have lost the Old Trafford contract then. Not the first thing they have lost recentley,
Continue ReadingThat woman who threw a cat in the bin really hurt my felines.
Continue ReadingNever judge a book by its cover. Use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Continue ReadingWe’ve got a new origami machine in the office where I work. Well, it used to be a printer until I took a hammer to it.
Continue Reading“I love the thmell of napalm in the morning.” – Apocalisp Now.
Continue ReadingI need you like JFK needed a roof on his car…
Continue ReadingMy wife threw a large Stephen King book at the back of my head. I never saw IT coming.
Continue ReadingApparently when Rowan Atkinson crashed his McClaren F1 he injured his groin on the gear stick. Now he’s got a Blackbladder.
Continue ReadingI like to watch Crimewatch its cheaper than Friends Reunited
Continue Reading“My wife’s gone to Jordan” “Amman?” “No, she’s just got big hands, but you’re not the first to ask.”
Continue ReadingSo this SEO expert walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor.
Continue ReadingThe treasury have said cash-in-hand work costs them billions of pounds every year. You’d think they’d set a good example and pay VAT like the rest of us.
Continue ReadingI bought a race horse and decided to call it “MY FACE”. Just imagine it running down the home straight with all the women shouting “COME ON MY FACE”!!
Continue Reading