Why are people so bothere …
Why are people so bothered about genetically modified foods? I mean just last week me and the family sat down to a delicious plate of beef wings.
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Bargain! I found an iPhon …
Bargain! I found an iPhone under 60 yesterday, so I grabbed it… …AND the 60
Continue ReadingI asked the wife earlier …
I asked the wife earlier what she wanted for Christmas. “Oooh, I don’t know. Maybe something cool, sparkly and tasteful,” she said with a wink. Excellent I thought. Bottle of 7 Up it is then.
Continue ReadingSky News: STD rates in th …
Sky News: STD rates in the USA are the highest in the Western World. That’s because they have all bought Norton Anti-Virus and believed they were covered.
Continue ReadingI’m as bored as a fat kid …
I’m as bored as a fat kid on a see-saw.
Continue ReadingThey say sarcasm is the l …
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. I totally believe that.
Continue ReadingI saw the Williams sister …
I saw the Williams sisters knocking up at Wimbledon yesterday …. they were brilliant at hitting the ball without it bouncing … The best Volleywogs I’ve ever seen
Continue ReadingMy cousin just died, he w …
My cousin just died, he was only 19. He got stung by a bee – the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.
Continue ReadingIf I ever become a pilot …
If I ever become a pilot I’m gonna shout “WE’RE GOING DOWN” everytime I land the plane.
Continue ReadingFor the first time in fiv …
For the first time in five years Katie Holmes will be able to buy a car without Cruise control.
Continue ReadingReporter “Kerry, if you w …
Reporter “Kerry, if you went to a football match do you think the fans would heckle you?”. Kerry Katona “Fat chants”.
Continue ReadingWent on a pleasure trip l …
Went on a pleasure trip last weekend. Drove my mother-in-law to the airport.
Continue ReadingMy daughter Nioca just as …
My daughter Nioca just asked me why we named her that. I said “Well, darling, your mother and I couldn’t decide what to call you, so we flipped a coin.”
Continue ReadingAn argument recently over …
An argument recently overheard in a primary school playground. “Your Mum’s like a double decker bus… there’s always room for one more on top.” “Yeah, well YOUR MUM’S like a double decker… she only costs a pound to ride and kids under five go free.”
Continue ReadingTen people die every year …
Ten people die every year from Tiger attacks. Join the movement, Tony 2012
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