I can’t decide which sata …
I can’t decide which satanic card game to play. Oh well – better the Devil Uno.
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
If you were traveling 5km …
If you were traveling 5km slower, she’d only have a bruised leg. If you were traveling 5km faster, she’d still be on the side of the road.
Continue ReadingI’m really starting to ha …
I’m really starting to hate these stupid little Russian Dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
Continue ReadingToday, my 4-year old son …
Today, my 4-year old son came running in to the kitchen, yelling: “I want to be a ninja when I grow up!” Can’t wait to tell him he’s a dwarf
Continue ReadingI told my friend not to d …
I told my friend not to dig beneath me to find gold but he went ahead and undermined me.
Continue ReadingThe city of Siam is twinn …
The city of Siam is twinned with itself.
Continue ReadingBeaver 1: “The river has …
Beaver 1: “The river has flooded….The cascading water is ruining all of our homes!” Beaver 2: “Dammit!”
Continue ReadingHas anyone ever seen a su …
Has anyone ever seen a sumo in a casino? Fat chance.
Continue ReadingCapital punishment jokes. …
Capital punishment jokes. They’re all about the execution.
Continue ReadingMy wife’s got a cracking …
My wife’s got a cracking pair of jugs … So we’re taking them back to John Lewis’ to get a refund.
Continue ReadingMy mate’s a Scottish Rast …
My mate’s a Scottish Rasta and he can’t swim. He dreads lochs.
Continue Readingjust been banned from xbo …
just been banned from xbox live. Apparently when playing jewish people its against the rules to start shouting in german and to only use smoke grenades.
Continue ReadingIf anyone is thinking abo …
If anyone is thinking about buying an auto-biography, I don’t want to ruin the ending for you but they write a book.
Continue ReadingIt would make sense for s …
It would make sense for shortcuts to be longer. If they were quicker they would just be called ‘the way’.
Continue ReadingDavid Cameron walks into …
David Cameron walks into a libary and askes for a book on irony, the librarian says: ‘sorry, we are not a libary we are a barbershop now, because you closed all the libaries’.
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