BBC news: Fire hits Oxfam …
BBC news: Fire hits Oxfam warehouse in Huddersfield. It must have been like bonfire night with all those flares going up.
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I’ve heard a rumour The W …
I’ve heard a rumour The Wok Inn takeaway down the road is being closed down due to poor hygiene. Could just be Chinese whispers though.
Continue ReadingI saw on the news there t …
I saw on the news there the headline “Has China mother had octuplets?” …or is she just a nanny for 8 unrelated kids?
Continue ReadingYou’re about as much use …
You’re about as much use as an ejector seat in a helicopter.
Continue ReadingThe Whisk Cooking impleme …
The Whisk Cooking implement for most. Favourite boy band for Jonathan Ross
Continue ReadingI pulled a cracker last C …
I pulled a cracker last Christmas. There’s a joke in there somewhere.
Continue ReadingI did think it odd when t …
I did think it odd when the wife said she fancied a bit of rock and roll. It broke 4 of her teeth when I made her a sandwich.
Continue ReadingWe were walking down the …
We were walking down the street when a hooded youth popped up from nowhere, grabbed my wife and put a knife to her throat. He looked at me and said, “Give me all your money or she gets it!” I replied, “She already has all my money.”
Continue ReadingI came into the kitchen y …
I came into the kitchen yesterday and saw my wife searching frantically in the kitchen. ‘What are you looking round for?’ I asked. ‘My keys’ she replied, ‘I can’t find them anywhere.’I meant what are you looking round for, fatty? You were a normal shape when I married you’
Continue ReadingI was in a horse race and …
I was in a horse race and just as got to the finishing line someone threw an apple seed at me… Pipped at the post
Continue Reading“2” I said. “4” replied t …
“2” I said. “4” replied the wife. “6 and 8” I said. “10, 12 and 14” she replied. Our weekly ‘shout out random numbers game’ was quite an even contest this week.
Continue ReadingI just bought my wife a n …
I just bought my wife a new BMW Z4 but took it back to get something she could do less damage with. So I got her a Beatle. She liked her picture of John Lennon.
Continue ReadingYou can’t beat Rihanna. …
You can’t beat Rihanna.
Continue ReadingI’ve bought my wife this …
I’ve bought my wife this really unusual lady’s smoking jacket …. It’s made from a lovely long silk cut.
Continue ReadingSky news – ‘Mother ‘Told …
Sky news – ‘Mother ‘Told Police She Had Killed Children’ Not really mother any more then is she…
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