Does any one else think t …
Does any one else think the queens head looks like a coin?
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BBC News: JLS draw big cr …
BBC News: JLS draw big crowd at Big Weekend I bet they think they’re real artists now.
Continue ReadingMy missus said that she w …
My missus said that she would like a DS for Christmas. I’m not sure about that, I don’t really fancy adopting a Downs Syndrome kid.
Continue ReadingI’m alergic to martial ar …
I’m alergic to martial arts, i’ve got Kungfubia.
Continue ReadingMy father brought me up s …
My father brought me up single-handedly. It’s not easy being the son of a pirate.
Continue ReadingMy favourite position is …
My favourite position is the Farmville Ploughing away for 3 minutes, and then waiting a few days before I do it all over again.
Continue ReadingFrom the look of her, Ste …
From the look of her, Steps will be a lot harder for Claire Richards this time round.
Continue ReadingI had a job application r …
I had a job application rejected today. They said I “didn’t fit the profile”. I asked, “How about if I stand sideways?”
Continue ReadingI eat like a pig but I’m …
I eat like a pig but I’m still really skinny Whatever the farmer puts in the trough really works!
Continue ReadingMy wife has left me for g …
My wife has left me for good after watching too many Clint Eastwood films. Well rather him than the bad or the ugly.
Continue ReadingMy girlfriend always insi …
My girlfriend always insists on turning off the lights when we make love. It doesn’t really bother me, but it’s the hiding that seems so cruel.
Continue ReadingI was on facebook and I s …
I was on facebook and I saw one of those banners at the side. It said “Rhianna’s IQ is 117! Can you beat her?” So I thought Chris Brown already did.
Continue ReadingWhen chemists do it, they …
When chemists do it, they do it on a table… Periodically.
Continue ReadingMy dad was an expert with …
My dad was an expert with a mitre saw but he was sacked for cutting too many corners
Continue ReadingA civil servant goes to s …
A civil servant goes to see the department head. “Why do you want a transfer now?” asks the department head. “You’ve been in the same job in the same office for 39 years!” “I’m not sure,” says the civil servant, “I think it’s that wild and restless gypsy blood in me.”
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