I woke up in my car this …
I woke up in my car this morning. Good old motorway rumble strips!
Continue ReadingAuthor: qjoq.com
The first rule of telepat …
The first rule of telepathy club is
Continue ReadingI made a great impression …
I made a great impression when I met the in-laws. I don’t think they know who Harvey Price is though.
Continue ReadingMy Mum recently got divor …
My Mum recently got divorced and married a guy in a wheelchair. Do I still call him my step dad?
Continue ReadingAs Ronnie Corbett’s wife …
As Ronnie Corbett’s wife always says, two hands are better than one.
Continue ReadingBBC News:Cannibal star go …
BBC News:Cannibal star gobbles neighbour. He’s probably bitten off more than he can chew?
Continue ReadingI was in town the other d …
I was in town the other day, when this little green man appeared. All of a sudden, he started flashing and then disappeared. Naturally, I ran after him. Then I got hit by a car.
Continue ReadingWant to pull a Jewish gir …
Want to pull a Jewish girl? Just show them some interest.
Continue ReadingA man walks into a librar …
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, “I’m sorry sir, that’s just gone out.”
Continue ReadingPresident Hugo Chavez mad …
President Hugo Chavez made a triumphant address to the nation, on returning to Venezuela after cancer surgery. For his first appearance, thousands of supporters went Caracas.
Continue ReadingHeadline: “Factory ruined …
Headline: “Factory ruined in ‘suspect’ fire.” Police are on the lookout. Suspect is thought to be glowing orange and boiling hot.
Continue ReadingJust finished making the …
Just finished making the first episode of a murder mystery series set on an aeroplane. It was the pilot.
Continue ReadingObama bbq outrage: As Cam …
Obama bbq outrage: As Cameron suggests they pick whichever corn on the cob they want…
Continue ReadingI got my first tweet toda …
I got my first tweet today. My best fwend took me for a huge ice cweem.
Continue ReadingSo 1p has been cut from p …
So 1p has been cut from petrol? I don’t think etrol has quite the same ring to it.
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